Shit.. 20.. -_- just 5 years ago, you were like.. OMG, I’m going to be 20 in 5 years.. Now you’re 20.. Freaky shit man.. Time moves so fast nowadays.. I know I don’t usually admit this, but I do miss you.. and I do love you! Woots.. Okay, enough with the emo shit.. lol.. Have a good one.. and I will see you in 2 weeks=D

Next on my list for “the people who matter to me.. =) =) =)” well.. obviously, Arif.. haha..

Arif, my brother.. I remember when we couldn’t fucking stand each other! Where you made me cry like every day and every night.. Where I always get you into trouble eventhough it wasn’t your fault.. Where I would physically hurt you by pulling your hair or ear or pinching you and make you say “I’m sorry Aqidah, I wont do it again!” for like ten thousand times.. I remember everytime you would make me cry or hate you, I would just start throwing things at you and hit you.. I remember I was chasing you around the house and I fell down at the stairs and my gums started to bleed and everyone was so pissed off at you! Haha.. I remember when dad used to hit us with his rubber belt thingy and we both actually hid it although we were fucking scared of what dad might do to us when he found out.. haha.. Gosh.. We were such trouble makers back when we were kids, no? I remember when you were on the phone with some girl, I’d listen in on your calls and tease you about it the next day.. I remember when I was on the phone with my friends, you’d always disturb me and I’d end up chasing you around the house while still on the phone.. I remember when you broke my lock on my door cause you kept barging in eventhough it was locked.. and I fucking yelled at you at the dinner table.. I remember I was soooooooo annoyed of you everytime you made a new friend, moved to a new school, learned something new.. you’d always brag about it for about a week.. I remember when you started liking someone and you couldn’t stop talking about her.. I remember when I found out about your first girlfriend and I didn’t know how to react to it and so I just teased you in the end eventhough I actually wanted to talk about it with you.. I remember when you broke up with her.. it took you quite a while to come to me.. all sad.. that was actually the first time I saw you all vulnerable.. and I just let you lay on my bed for the rest of the day till night came.. and iunno.. we didn’t talk but I knew you knew that I was there for you despite me keeping quite the whole time.. I don’t really know when we stopped fighting and when we started becoming ‘friends’ but for sure, I love what we have now.. it’s awesome.. I remember when I just started my teen years I’d always be all moody at you eventhough you came to me for the best of intentions.. I remember our most recent and biggest fight.. when you didn’t believe in me.. when you think I couldn’t do this or do that.. and I poured water on you and you poured ORANGE on me.. and I broke the glass.. and we didn’t talk for about 3 weeks or more (did it reach a month kah? I don’t remember.. lol).. It was one of the hardest times for me to go through.. even when you apologized to me.. I wanted to forgive you, I did.. but I just got scared.. got embarrassed.. iunno.. it was hard for me.. we would watch amazing race together and not say a word eventhough everytime something happened, I would automatically say something, but remembered we weren’t talking to each other and shit.. and when I offered you that ice cream as a peace offering.. and when I just put it on the table and pretended to look away and saw you actually take the ice cream.. took a couple of spoon fulls and put it back.. I smiled to myself.. lol.. but oh well, that’s all behind us now, yes? What we have now is good.. I love how we can talk to each other bout anything... how you can keep my secret and how I can keep yours.. How you would always wanna bring me jalan and include me in the stuff you do.. How you would tell ME stuff and not tell abang or dhamiri and they’d get all jealous and shit.. haha.. I know I’ve always wanted a sister.. but who needs a sister when I have you? Haha.. even with your weirdness and all, I still appreciate what you’ve done for me.. I miss walking into your room.. finding you on your guitar or laptop.. and just lie on your bed and say nothing.. just knowing you were there was good enough for me.. and everytime I had something up.. I’d go to your room and go all.. :D:D:D:D:D and you’d be like.. apa ni??? Ada nii.. tell me! And I’d tell you instantly.. and same goes to you.. haha.. and like.. sometimes I pretend not to want to know just to annoy you cause I know you cant stand not telling me and stuff.. so yeah.. im here in brunei and you’re all the way in Melbourne.. for a year and a half already.. I remember before we left you for the first time on your own.. I really wanted to hug you but I thought you didn’t want a hug.. but when I salam-ed you.. you pulled me in for a hug.. and I started to hear you cry.. and I cried with you.. for like 5 minutes or more.. I miss you, rif.. I really do.. and I know we wont be spending much time together for the next couple of years.. but yes, hope will get to spend a lot of time with you when I get to Melbourne.. hee.. =) this is pretty long already.. so Im just gonna end it here.. once again, happy birthday! You know I love you.. ;)